Friday, March 12, 2010

The Lion's Prey

Disclaimer: Queer as Folk is not mine unfortunately.
AN: I know, I know. Y'all are about to kill me. It's been over two months since I've posted anything. I suck and I apologize. Real life, a few rounds of the flu and now a respiratory infection and writer's block have just killed my muse.
This oneshot was meant to be a drabble. Just a few hundred words to get me going, but as I started writing, the words started flowing and well 1700+ words later and here we are. I hope you enjoy it.

The Lion's Prey
A Queer as Folk OneShot
Season 1 Episode 20
Set after Justin wins the King of Babylon contest.
His crown perched on his head proudly, he glides across the floor toward me, the sea of queers parting for him as they cheer his victory dancing to the thumpa thumpa.
"Did you see me?" He asks as he stops in front of me. The thrill of victory making him even more gorgeous than usual.
"Yeah, I saw you." I replied, nonchalantly. I refuse to allow him or anyone else to see how proud of him I am. How much his dancing turned you on and made you want to rip him off the stage and carry him out of there like a neanderthal.
"Well?" He asks, sticking out his chin, his eyebrows climbing up his forehead as he pushes for my approval.
Well, he's not getting it. I think. I can't give him that. It will only cement him to me even more. Instead, I respond with, "I think that contest was rigged."

Justin's face falls, the smile and excitement gone, erased by my disdain.
The trick I chose to prove to him that he didn't matter leans into me and asks, "You know him?" The interest is evident in his voice and the steady stare he gives Justin. I'm no longer his first choice.
My eyes barely spare the trick a glance as I reply, "Yeah." To further push him away I add, "I taught him everything he knows."
I see the hurt flash across his blue depths, but I've taught him well and he flings a taunt right back at me. "Except how to dance."
Touche, Sunshine.
Justin's eyes flash towards the trick at my side and he cruises him hard before asking, "What's your name?" Then with a gesture of his hand he says without even looking at me, "I'd ask him, only I'm sure he doesn't know."
"Sean," the trick answers, staring him down. The invitation is clear.
Justin cruises him again and steps up to him and says, "You're hot. I was watching you."
I stare on in disbelief, unable to grasp what's happening. I'm losing not only a trick to a twink, but I'm losing my twink to a trick. I can almost hear the theme from Twilight Zone.
The trick asks, "You were?" The excitement in him at Justin's attention is nearly tactile.
Justin leans in just a bit farther, his gorgeous baby blues locking onto Sean's eyes like a missile, and then he delivers one of my lines. "It made me want to fuck all night."
Justin's gaze flickers to me and I can only stand there and watch as he turns back to Sean and asks, "Wanna get outta here?"
"You lead."
Justin grabs Sean by the waistband of his pants and pulls him as he backs away towards the backroom. As Sean wraps his arm around Justin's waist, Justin drapes his across the trick's shoulders and turns away from me.
Unable to help myself, I call out to him. "I thought we had plans?"
They stop and turn back to me halfway. Justin scoffs, "You couldn't do better. I told you I might have plans, too."
"What's his problem?" Trick boy asks, clearly ready to get down to business with Babylon's new king.
He stares straight at me and says, "He's just my stalker."
Pain. Searing, agonizing pain flares into an inferno in my veins burning throughout me, incinerating me from the inside out. Schooling my face against the agony of his words, I say nothing.
Trick boy tightens his hold on Justin's waist, gives me a once over and says, "I suppose we could have a three way? Only … he's kinda old."
Justin huffs a small laugh, turns back to Sean and says, "We're also kinda leaving." Without a backwards glance he drapes his around the trick's shoulders, taking off with his prize.
As they walk away, pushing through the bodies on the dance floor, I fight to hide the pain that threatens to overtake my face, alerting the crowd to my sorrows.
What the fuck just happened? I ask myself.
I'm at an utter loss as to what just happened and it's not just that he stole my trick – Sean wasn't that hot to begin with, he was just a means to an end, a way to prove a point - it's that he, Justin, walked away from me. Left me standing there, leaning back against the bar without even looking back at me once. He's not ever not looked back or trailed after me as I walked away. He's always chased me, tried to please me, but not this time.
When the hell did he grow balls that fucking big?
I try to act as if I don't give a fuck, but fuck me, it actually fucking hurts me – a fucking lot, as a matter of fact. The hardest thing for me to handle is that I don't know why. All I know is that the pain I feel is tearing me to shreds inside. I've never felt anything like this before. The old man beat the fuck out of me on an almost daily basis growing up and the pain that's beating away inside my chest is, in some ways, much more painful than any beating Jack Kinney ever gave me.
After several moments of standing there against the bar staring after them, trying to act as if the world didn't just tilt off it's axis, I finally pull myself up and glance around the room. I start to move and I realize I'm striding towards the stairs, being pulled there by some unknown force – the same one that pulled me to him that very first night – only now it's so much stronger, so much more powerful. All the while, as I'm walking across the dance floor my mind is literally kicking and screaming inside my skull trying desperately to get me to turn around, to walk away from him – not toward him – to weave my way through the crowd and into the backroom, to fuck as many hot guys as I can to prove to him and every other fag in Pittsburgh that Justin Taylor and his actions tonight or any other night mean absolutely nothing to me, but instead I continue on in search of him. The magnetic pull that's always drawn us together as taken hold of me and is doing what it's always done – making sure that we're together.
I've always pushed him away before whenever this 'thing' between us has taken hold of me, but now that he seems to have gotten the message – 'I believe in fucking, not love' – I can't seem to stay away from him. I have to know what's happening. I have to know if he's got Sean's dick in his ass.
No! He can't possibly. My mind screams in denial. He's mine. Mine and mine alone. Yet another truth I can't deny or lock away. It just won't be contained.
I know he's been with others. Hell, the boy is seventeen, of course he's screwing everything in sight, just like he should be. Only … only I never cared before. Now, though I can't turn my mind off. I'm not sure if it's because the cub caught the lion's prey or if it's because as he was dancing on that stage for all of Gay PA to see, trying to prove to me that I cared, that I wanted him above all others, that he wasn't just a backup plan, that my walls cracked just enough for him to slip past all my defenses. Or is it that I've always felt this way about him and just not recognized it for what it is. Flashes from the past come at me like a speeding train. Times when Emmett would touch him, no matter how innocently and I would remove Justin from his clutches in a matter of seconds.
Fucking Christ. I'm turning into a lesbian.
Nearing the top of the stairs, I see Ted and what's his name standing close by talking intently. I slip by unnoticed while scenarios of Justin and the trick fucking are flashing through my head like the strobe lights that flash throughout the cavernous pit below the dance floor. The lights gleam off the hot, smooth, sweat-slicked bodies of the guys that are there. The sounds of their fucking and sucking bombard me. Usually these sounds arouse me to a fever pitch, this time nothing could be farther from the truth.
I descend the stairs slowly, involuntarily. I can't help myself and as I step off the bottom step, I scan the darkness looking for a fair skinned, blue eyed, blond, twink but I can't find him. I turn to walk passed the stairs, to search more deeply into the darkness when the strobes glint off skin so beautiful in it's near translucent paleness that my breath is taken from me. As I stand there, watching him, an emotion that I can barely recognize flashes through me.
Envy? Me?
As much as I would like to deny it, I can't. He's fucking my trick. He's topping the guy and doing it so fucking well that I'm filled with envy for this barely hot guy that I had planned to fuck just to prove that Justin had zero hold on me and now that hold has expanded until it's filled me completely. Just as I'd like to have him filling me, as I'd like to know what it's like to be pressed between his exquisite body and the cool, hardness of the block wall.
The sounds surrounding us as I watch them fade away and all I can hear is Justin. The sounds that his body makes as he thrusts into the guy, the sounds coming from his mouth as the ass he's pounding away at caress his beautiful cock.
As my mind screams MINE, I turn and go back up the stairs before I embarrass myself by yanking him off the twink and dragging him back to my loft. He won, fair and square – the contest and the trick.
Thanks to Miztrezboo for a quick read through. I appreciate it bb.

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